Corvette Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    (Heard on radio station CHNS, Halifax.)
    There was a young fellow who was quite inventive and
    was always trying out new things. One day he thought
    he'd see just how fast a bicycle could go before it
    became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned
    an old Mustang, if he could tie his bike to the bumper
    of his car to test his theory. His friend said,
    So the young man tied his bike to the back of the car
    and said to his friend:
    "I'll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go
    faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and
    repeatedly if I want you to slow down."
    With that, off they went. Things were going pretty
    well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well
    over 60 mph. The young fellow on the bike was handling
    the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black
    Corvette came up beside them and before you knew it
    the fellow driving the Mustang forgot all about more...

    A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther.
    He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down.
    Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap.
    The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two more...

    Bill and Tim are out one day test driving cars. They happen to pull up to the same stop light side by side.
    Bill yells out his window, "HEY TIM, Corvette?"
    Tim yells back "YUP THIS IS A CORVETTE"
    Tim yells again "HEY BILL, Audi?"
    Bill jumps out of his car pulls up his shirt, points to his belly button and says, "Nope! I got an INNY!"

    A man walks into a bar and has a lot of drinks. He gets completely wasted. He mentions to the bartender that he has his girlfriend sitting in his new corvette outside so she can drive him home.
    While the bartender went outside to throw out the garbage he notices a corvette with a man and a woman making out in it. He goes back into the bar and tells the man to go check on his girl.
    The man leaves and comes back laughing and staggering a few minutes later.
    Confused the bartender asks what is so funny.
    The man replies, "My friend Bobby is so wasted he thinks he's me!"

    A blonde was driving in her brand new corvette. Two guys pull her over and tell her to get out of the car. They draw a circle and tell her if she moves out of the circle they will kill her.

    They immediately begin to destroy her corvette. When they are all finished they find the blonde standing in the circle laughing. Stunned, they wonder why, and ask her.

    She replies, "Because while you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle.

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