Correctly Jokes / Recent Jokes

Your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
You've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.
You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.

A preschool teacher thought it would be interesting for her students to learn to identify different names for the various kinds of meats. One day, she cooked up several different meats and labeled them. As each student took a bite they were asked to identify the animal. Little Sherry took a bite of the meat labeled beef and correctly said that it came from a cow. Tommy took a bite of pork and also correctly identified the meat as coming from a pig. The last meat was labeled venison. The children chewed and chewed and after numerous incorrect guesses the teacher attempted to give them a hint "what does your mommy call your daddy when he comes home from work at night" she asked? All of a sudden little Joey jumped up from the back of the classroom and yelled "Jesus Christ! Spit it out, it's Asshole"!

The first grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess.

Teacher asks Sarah, "What did you do at recess?"
Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."
Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write' sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie.

Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.
Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."
Teacher says, "Good. If you write' box' correctly on blackboard, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." Morris does, and gets a cookie.

Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.
He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."
Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write' blatant racial discrimination,' I'll give you a cookie."

A preschool teacher thought it would be interesting for her students to learn to identify different names for the various kinds of meats. One day, she cooked up several different meats and labeled them. As each student took a bite they were asked to identify the animal.

Little Sherry took a bite of the meat labeled beef and correctly said that it came from a cow. Tommy took a bite of pork and also correctly identified the meat as coming from a pig. The last meat was labeled venison. The children chewed and chewed and after numerous incorrect guesses the teacher attempted to give them a hint "what does your mommy call your daddy when he comes home from work at night" she asked?

All of a sudden little Joey jumped up from the back of the classroom and yelled "Jesus Christ! Spit it out, it's Asshole"!

This quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not
you are qualified to be a professional. SCROLL DOWN FOR THE
ANSWERS. There is no need to cheat. The questions are not that
difficult. You just need to think like a professional.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
..




The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the
giraffe and close the door.
This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in
a complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
..



Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and
close the door.






Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator remove the giraffe and put
in the elephant and close the door. This question tests your
foresight.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the
animals attend except one. Which more...

The first grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess.

Teacher asks Sarah, "What did you do at recess?"

Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."

Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write' sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie.

Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.

Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."

Teacher says, "Good. If you write' box' correctly on blackboard, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." Morris does, and gets a cookie.

Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.

He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."

Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write' blatant racial discrimination,' I'll give more...

Major bug with VB-TP during compilation
REDMOND, WA (APR. 30) BUSINESS WIRE - Microsoft Corp. announced today that if you thought about the program at all before creating the EXE file, it would fail.
Instead you need to carefully think of only the file name and the concept of compilation in order to get it to compile correctly. It seems that the design mode environment does not clean up after all the stray thoughts.
MS technical support is recommending taking a cold shower during file compilation in order to remain distracted enough for it to work correctly. As an interim bug fix, all VB packages are currently being shipped with a towel.
Reports of users getting severe migraines when double-clicking too often with the MindMouse are unconfirmed. As an interim bug fix, all MindMouse double-clicks should be performed with Metallica playing in the background.
Aluminum foil around the head seems to work, but it doesn't look too attractive. It also adds a whole new more...