Conservatives Jokes

Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

Conservatives have proven, conclusively, that they are unable to govern the country because they are serving in an institution, the government, that they fundamentally don't believe in. It's like asking a Rabbi to preach at a Baptist church.
"Let us all bow our heads in prayer to....uh, does it have to be Jesus?? Oy!!"

Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

Liberals want to solve the marijuana problem by making it legal.
Conservatives want to solve the wife-beating problem by making it legal.
Liberals want to strike down all abortion laws, so that unwanted babies can be killed off before they're born.
Conservatives want to strike down the welfare laws, so that unwanted babies can be starved to death after they're born.
The conservative would prevent rape by locking up his wife and daughters.
The liberal would prevent rape by legalizing prostitution. Neither considers locking up rapists, because the liberal says it's society's fault and the conservative says it costs too much money.