Coke Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three clergymen were sitting in a boat, fishing.
“I’m thirsty, ” said the first. “I’m gonna go get myself a Coke. ” So he got out of the boat, walked across the water, and came back with his Coke.
“Ooh, that looks good, ” said the second and got out of the boat. He walked across the water, got his Coke, and came back.
“You’re right, ” said the third. “I think I’ll get one too. ” He steps out of the boat and sinks like a rock.
“Hey, ” said the first clergyman to the second, “should we tell him where the rocks are? ”

In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.
She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.
The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning?"

As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next to him. After taking off, the flight attendant comes around to serve the passengers on the plane. The guy asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks: "And get ME a coke...NOW!"The flight attendant, flustered by the parrot's attitude, brings back a coke for the parrot. However, she forgets the coffee for the guy.As the guy points this out, the parrot drains his glass and screams:"Get me another coke or I'll really create a scene!"Quite upset, the attendant comes back shaking, with another coke, but still no coffee.Irritated at her forgetfulness, the man decides to try the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it right now, or I'll create a scene that will make HIS look like a Victorian tea party!"The next moment, both the guy and the parrot are grabbed and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly security more...

ABC "America's Mickey Mouse Network"
Allstate "Sears-ious Insurance"
AOL "We've Got You by the Wires"
AT&T "No, WE'VE Got You by the Wires"
Burger King "Wait for It Your Way"
CBS "Welcome Home. Hey, Where the Hell Is Everyone?"
Chevrolet "GEO Whiz, We Like Toyota"
Chrysler "The Mercedes-Benz of American Cars"
Coca-Cola "New Coke Was Pepsi's Idea"
Democratic National Party "Bill Clinton? Never Heard of Him"
Disney "Available in Stores for a Limited Time Only"
Eveready "Nothing Really Keeps on Going Forever"
Ford "Quality is Somebody Else's Job"
Ernest & Julio Gallo: "We Will Have No Hangover before Its Time"
General Electric "We're a Lot Like RCA"
Honda "Just As Good As Hyundai. Really"
IBM "Windows Is Just a Fad"
JERZEES "Fit to a T"
KIA more...

After the recent Anti-trust hearings, Bill Gates recently compared the software market with the soft drink market. He says Microsoft is struggling to survive but that the beverage giant will be on top forever because the Department of Justice doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following:

Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, I'd like a Big Mac.

Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be $3.99.

Joe: Uh, I don't want a Coke.

Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled.

Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke!

Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free.

Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week?

Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's got integrated Coke!

Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street... I'm not going to drink the Coke.

Cashier: Then you can't more...

The first little pig walked into the bar and said "Can I have a rum and coke?" and the bar man said "OK".
Then the little pig said "Can I use your toilet?" and the bar man said straight ahead.
Then the second little pig walked into the bar and said "Can I have a rum and coke?" and the bar man said "OK".
Then the little pig said "Can I use your toilet?" and the bar man said straight ahead.
The third little pig walked into the bar and said "Can I have a rum and coke?" and the bar man said "OK".
Then the Bar man said "I suppose you want to use the toilet", but the third little pig said "No, I'm the pig that goes wee wee wee all the way home".

Two attorneys have planned to meet for lunch, but one of them shows up 30 minutes late.
The one who's been waiting asks his partner: "What kept you?"
"I ran over a Coke bottle and got a flat tire."
"A Coke bottle in the road? Didn't you see it?"
"No, the kid had it under his coat."