Cocoa Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Line 1. Butter, a minimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not to exceed 1 (one)
    pound. (See line 4.)
    Line 2. Sugar, light brown or white, unless you or your spouse
    had a financial account in a foreign country in 1990, in which case
    dark brown sugar must be used. Do not substitute molasses or honey.
    Use 1 (one) cup and adjust to taste.
    Line 3. Eggs, six or half a dozen, whichever is greater.
    Line 4. Semisweet chocolate, 6 oz. Nonfarm families may choose
    the optional method of using cocoa powder. If you elect the Cocoa
    Method, add 1/2 oz. (One Tablespoon) of butter to each 3
    tablespoons of cocoa. Multiply by .9897 per ounce of substitution.
    For adjustments to sugar, see pg. 29. Add total of additional
    butter to Line 1 (above). Sugar adjustments should be reflected in
    final total of Line 2. For additional details on cocoa conversion,
    see Form 551.
    Line 5a. Flour, white. If you were a federal, state or local
    government employee, more...

    The Chocolate Ritual (You need to know a bit about wicca for this to be a knee slapper.. . )

    Materials required: On the altar are brown candles, a Tootsie Roll (the big one), a large glass with milk in it (the chalice), a small dish of Nestle's Quik and a spoon, a small dish of chocolate sprinkles, a plate of cupcakes, and some Yoo-Hoo along with a goblet. The athame is represented by a cake knife reserved only for cutting Devil's Food Cake, and the pentacle is represented by a chocolate star.

    CLEANSE THE SACRED SPACE:
    (take the small bowl of chocolate sprinkles)

    Chocolate sprinkles where thou art
    Cast no calories in thy presence last.
    Let no fat adhere to me
    And as I will so mote it be!

    Nestle's Quik where thou art cast
    Turn this milk to chocolate fast.
    Let all good things come to me,
    and make my milk all chocolatey!

    CAST THE CIRCLE
    (using the Tootsie roll)

    CALL THE more...

    A little boy never said a word for six years. One day his parents served him cocoa. From out of left field the kid said, "This cocoa's no good."

    His parents went around raving. They asked him, "Why did you wait so long to talk?"

    He said, "Up till now everything's been okay"

    My American History teacher was giving a lecture about the first three presidents. A lot of people in my class can't remember presidents very well.
    "You all are brainwashed," he said.
    Of course, there was confusion in the room at this comment.
    "Let me demonstrate," he continued, "'I'm Cuckoo for...'"
    "Cocoa Puffs!" the class replied.
    "You don't know the ninth president of the United States, but you know that you are 'Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.'"
    Then, this one guy in my class said, "If the presidents were finger-lickin' good, we'd remember 'em."

    What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? Cocoa Puffs.

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