Co-worker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an ear-ring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into ear-rings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an ear-ring," he replies sheepishly.

"So, really? How long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in our bed."

As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess. Not only was he going bald, but years of office work had given him a large pot belly. The last straw came when he asked a woman co-worker out on a date, and she all but laughed at him. That does it, he decided. I'm going to start a whole new regimen. He began attending aerobics classes. He started working out with weights. He changed his diet. And he got an expensive hair transplant. In six months, he was a different man. Again, he asked his female co-worker out, and this time she accepted. There he was, all dressed up for the date, looking better than he ever had. He stood poised to ring the woman's doorbell, when a bolt of lightning struck him and knocked him off his feet. As he lay there dying, he turned his eyes toward the heavens and said, "Why, God, why now? After all I've been through, how could you do this to me?" Fr om up above, there came a voice, "Sorry. I didn't not recoginize you."

A woman wasn't feeling well, so she asked a co-worker if she could recommend a doctor.
"I know a very good doctor, but he is quite expensive. He charges $350 for the first visit, and $150 for each subsequent visit, but he really is quite good," replied the co-worker.
The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to pull a fast one and save herself some money, she cheerfully announced, "I'm back!"
Not fooled for a moment, the doctor gave her a quick exam and said, "Very good, now just continue the treatment I prescribed for you on your last visit."

As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess. Not only was he going bald, but years of office work had given him a large pot belly. The last straw came when he asked a woman co-worker out on a date, and she all but laughed at him. That does it, he decided. Im going to start a whole new regimen. He began attending aerobics classes. He started working out with weights. He changed his diet. And he got an expensive hair transplant. In six months, he was a different man. Again, he asked his female co-worker out, and this time she accepted. There he was, all dressed up for the date, looking better than he ever had. He stood poised to ring the womans doorbell, when a bolt of lightning struck him and knocked him off his feet. As he lay there dying, he turned his eyes toward the heavens and said, "Why, God, why now? After all Ive been through, how could you do this to me?" Fr om up above, there came a voice, "Sorry. I didnt not recoginize you."

One day, a man was telling his co-worker that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there.
When asked why, he replied that even though he would be passing up a big salary increase and greater benefits, he was just too afraid of all the crime and did not desire to risk being mugged just to get to work.
His co-worker asked him to reconsider, noting that Chicago was a magnificent city, with world class museums, loaded with a great history, sites, good public transportation, etc.
Then he said, "Why I myself worked in Chicago for over 10 years, and in all that time I had no problem with crime."
The first asked, "What type of work did you do there?"
To which the other replied, "Oh, I rode as an armed security guard on a Brink's armored car."

Time Sheets To all staff: It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time". In this company unproductive time isn't a problem. What is a problem,however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.
Thank you.
The Management

Attached: Extended Job Code List Code number Explanation ---------- ----------- 5316 Meeting 5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting 5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting 5319 Waiting for Break 5320 Waiting for Lunch 5321 Waiting for End of Day 5322 more...

A man was approached by co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys." So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the toliet. "How more...