Cleaner Jokes / Recent Jokes
"For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a patient dead in the same bed every Friday morning", a spokeswoman for the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters.
"There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air conditioning system, and a search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues. However, further inquiries have now revealed the cause of these deaths.
It seems that every Friday morning a cleaning lady would enter the ward, remove the plug that powered the patient's life support system, plug her floor polisher into the vacant socket, then go about her business. When she had finished her chores, she would plug the life support machine back in and leave, unaware that the patient was now dead. She could not, after all, hear the death rattle and eventually the solid beep over the whirring of her polisher.
"We are sorry, and have sent a strong more...
A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman manages to bull his way into a woman's home in a rural area.
"This machine is the best ever" he exclaims, whilst pouring a bag of dirt over the lounge floor.
The woman says she's really worried it may not all come off, so the salesman says, "If this machine doesn't remove all the dust completely, I'll lick it off myself."
"Do you want ketchup on it?" she says, "we're not connected for electricity yet!"
Cleaner Polishes Off Patients.
South African Health - Pelonomi Hospital
Date: 26 July 1996 10:08
"For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a dead
patient in the same bed every Friday morning" a spokeswoman for
the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters.
"There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive
checks on the air conditioning system, and a search for possible
bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues." "However,
further inquiries have now revealed the cause of these deaths.
It seems that every Friday morning a cleaner would enter the
ward, remove the plug that powered the patient's life support
system, plug her floor polisher into the vacant socket, then go
about her business. When she had finished her chores, she would
plug the life support machine back in and leave, unaware that the
patient was now dead. She could not, after all, hear more...
Yo mama's like...- Yo mama's like a T. V., even a two-year-old could turn her on. - Yo mama's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and then comes back for more. - Yo mama's like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded. - Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine... five cents a blow. - Yo mama's like Chinese food... sweet, sour, and cheap. - Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. - Yo mama's like Burger King... Your way, right away. - Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth. - Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy. - Yo mama's like a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit. - Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen. - Yo mama's like a street lamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner. - Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day. - Yo mama's like a 747, more...
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s**t!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady
MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client...!!! Otherwise you will be eating s**t!!!!!
Laloo is convicted in the fodder case and the courts decide that all his property belongs to the state. He is left with nothing and is going around looking for a job. Eureka Forbes (the vacuum cleaner company) gives him a job as a vacuum cleaner saleman. Laloo decides to do well on his first day itself. He goes to the first house in his territory.
He knocks, a lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, Laloo runs inside and dumps gobar (cow dung) all over the floor and the sofa.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that gobar right now, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She replies, "You want salt and pepper on that? We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
A British dwarf's penis got stuck in a hoover vacuum cleaner attachment. How could this happen? Well, this sketch comedian's act includes a bit where he comes on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his most private part. Unfortunately, the attachment broke just minutes before he went on and had to be repaired with super glue. Looks like it is important to let super glue dry.