Christmas Greetings Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Felicitations Concomitant with Your Observance of the Season and Many
Propitious Initions in the Forthcoming Twelvemonth"

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, yet with respect for the religious persuasions of others or their choice not to practice religion at all;
and
a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year, 1999, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to our society have helped make America great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious or sexual preference of the wishes.
(This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, it implies no promise by the wishor to actually attempt to implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others.)

A Christmas card sent from a Democrat to his Republican Friend:
The election is over, the results are known,
the will of the people has clearly been shown.
Let's forget the quarrels and show by our deeds,
we will give our leader all the help that he needs.
So let's all get together, and let bitterness pass,
I'll hug your elephant and you kiss my ass.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
What did one Angel say to the other?
Halo there!
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!
What do elephants sing at Christmas?
No-elephants, no elephants!
What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?
Best vicious of the season
What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross mouse cards!
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe
What does Father Christmas write on his Christmas cards?
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L! !)!

"Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice but with no implication that you have a religious persuasion, and with respect for the religious persuasions of others or their choice not to practice a religion at all."
Adding all my wishes for the same to you and yours, Jeff. Note: the preceding was forwarded from' The Globe and Mail', quoting Gerry Furney, the mayor of Port McNeill, British Columbia, Canada this morning.

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially
responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, winter
solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of
the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for
the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their
own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a
religion at all; plus... A fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the
generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect
for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions
have helped make our society great, without regard to the race,
creed color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or with-
drawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement
any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no more...