Chatting Jokes

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them." "Thats the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."

Two old ladies were sitting on the porch, chatting about nothing in particular. Clear out of the blue, Hazel turned to Blanche and asked, "Do you still get horny, dear?"
Blanche gave Hazel a sheepish grin and replied, "I sure do. Not like I used to mind you, but yes, at times."
Hazel thought for a moment, and then asked, "What do you do about it?"
"I suck a lifesaver," Blanche quickly replied.
"A lifesaver!" exclaimed Hazel. "Well, who drives you to the beach?"

This quiz is dedicated to all of those people who find themselves constantly roaming the net. Do you leave yourself logged in twenty-four hours a day, even when you're not home? Is your wpm typing speed higher than your IQ? Are you having trouble seeing things at distances greater than 2 feet? Yes, YOU. You know who you are.

Ok... shall we begin? Yes? 5 points... (you could've backed out.)

Unless otherwise stated, point values are as follows:
2 for (a), 4 for (b), 6 for (c), and 10 for (d).

How many valid net addresses do you have?
Multiple machines at the same site do not count.

How many hours did it take for you to create your. sig?
a) Huh?
b) More than one
c) More than five
d) I'm still looking for a really funky quote

On an average working day, how many email messages do you receive?
a) Nobody sends me any mail... sniff
b) Three, but they're all from Lester in the next cubicle over, more...

A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked. "Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer. "What do you do?" lawyer asked. "Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to say' the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said' the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go," minister replied.

Two classmates were chatting in their lunch break...
"I know how to get money real quick" says one," how?"
"go to your dad and say, "I know the truth" and he'll give you money"
So the young boy went home and said "dad, I know the truth" and
his dad gave him ten dollars and told him not to tell anyone' the truth'.
He then went to his mother, " Mom, I know the truth" he said.
"Please don't tell your dad" she said and gave him twenty dollars.
Content with thirty dollars he went outside to go to the arcade and saw the milkman. "I know the truth," he shouted out.
The milkman replied "Well come and hug your real father then"