Celebration Jokes / Recent Jokes

During my walk every morning I meet a group of septuagenarians narrating jokes and experiences of their younger days.
One morning I heard one of them announce that it was his golden wedding anniversary that day. The consensus was that, the occasion demanded a celebration. The suggestion was mooted that the group should contribute towards the celebration and allow the honoured couple the pleasure of re-enacting their wedding.
One of them volunteered to set up a pandaal and illuminations. Another offered to serve dinner; the third agreed to put up the vedi for pheras and bring a priest. The fourth, after some thought said, "All this is fine, but who will do what is supposed to be done after the pheras?'

Erich Honnecker (the president of East Germany) was invited to Moscow by Gorbachev for a visit. After weeks of preparation by Gorby, Honnecker arrives in Moscow. As part of the celebration activities, there is a big parade through the streets of Moscow. While the two are watching the parade, Gorbachev takes a small boy aside and asks him, "Who is your mother?" The child replies, "Mother Russia." "And who is your father?", asks Gorbachev. The boy answers, "Why, its you Uncle Gorbachev!". Finally Gorbachev asks the boy, "and what do you want to be when you grow up?". The boy proudly replies, "a good communist!".
Erich Honnecker, meanwhile, has been watching this and is very impressed. So impressed, that he decides to invite Gorbachev to [East] Berlin for a visit. Again, after weeks of preparation, Gorbachev`s plane lands in Berlin. And again, part of the celebration includes a parade. Remembering what Gorbachev did in more...

I heard this one a few years ago in East Germany...
Erich Honnecker (the president of East Germany) was invited to Moscow
by Gorbachev for a visit. After weeks of preparation by Gorby,
Honnecker arrives in Moscow. As part of of celebration activities,
there is a big parade through the streets of Moscow.
While the two are watching the parade, Gorbachev takes a small boy
aside and asks him, "Who is your mother?" The child replies, "Mother
Russia." "And who is your father?" asks Gorbachev. The boy answers,
"Why, it's you Uncle Gorbachev!" Finally Gorbachev asks the boy, "and
what do you want to be when you grow up?" The boy proudly replies,
"a good communist!"
Erich Honnecker, meanwhile, has been watching this and is very
impressed. So impressed, that he decides to invite Gorbachev to
[East] Berlin for a visit. Again, after weeks of preparation,
Gorbachev's plane lands in more...

As they were preparing to cut the cake at their 75th anniversary celebration, the old man nuzzled the old woman's ear and whispered, "Darling, there's a question I've been wanting to ask you all these years. Our eleventh child never did look very much like his siblings. Did he have a different father?"
Lowering her eyes, and hesitating for a moment, the old woman murmured, "Yes, he did dear."
The old man stood there, unable to speak for a moment, until he finally asked, "Who? Who is it?"
"You, dear!" she admitted.