Cantonese Jokes

You make $180, 000 a year, yet still can’t find an affordable place to live. Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles away from work. Stop asking how much things cost but, ask “How long will it lasts? ” Two-thirds of the people you know are from Boston or New York, but you are living in PST. Know vast differences between Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Cantonese, Filipino, and Korean food. Your home computer contains mostly hardware/software that is not on the consumer market yet. Go to “The City” on weekends but don’t live there because you like your car. Lost your alarm clock. You’ll get to work when you get there. Go to an industrial-heavy-metal bar and see two guys get into a fight over what flavor of UNIX is better. Own more than 10 articles of clothing that have hardware/software companies printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff. You know 280 North runs west, and 680 N runs East. Even though Microsoft employs quite a few programmers in the Bay more...

One day, one Mat Salleh from USA arrived in Subang Airport. After he checked out from the Custom, he felt that he wanted to go to the toilet, so he looked for a toilet. When he found the toilet, there was an old lady sitting in front of the toilet. When he was about to enter the toilet, the old lady stopped him and said forty cents in Cantonese (Say Kok), the Mat Salleh just wonder why in Malaysia, they have to "see the cock" (forty cents in Cantonese) before entering the toilet. So he said "No", but the old lady insisted. Since he got no choice, he took out his cock and showed to her. The old lady said "no, no, no, Duit, Duit" (money in Malay) but the Mat Salleh misunderstood again because he thought she said "DO IT, DO IT." So, he asked "NOW, HERE?" The old lady just reply "YES, YES" because she does not understand English. The Mat Salleh thought she agreed to have sex with him, so he strip up the old lady and make love to more...