Businessman Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sindhis are known both for their sharp practices as well as for their clannishness: they drive hard bargains but also help fellow Sindhis to find employment.

A Sindhi businessman on a visit to Hong Kong wanted to have a silk suit made and went to a Sindhi tailor's shop at the airport, which advertised suits made to measure in a couple of hours.

The visiting businessman selected the material and asked how much it cost.

The tailor replied:' Sir, seeing you are a fellow Sindhi I will offer you a special price. A suit of this material costs 200 Hong Kong dollars, as you can see clearly marked on the label. I charge everyone else two hundred dollars but not a fellow Sindhi. I won't ask for 190 dollars not even 180 dollars. For you it will be 170 dollars, not a cent more.'

'Why should you lose money on me just because I happen to be a fellow Sindhi,' replied the visitor.' So what should I offer for this suit? Seventy dollars? That I would to a more...

A businessman, on his deathbed, called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope,' Now, you have everything.'"

There was a businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else.
So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation, to the old man.
"Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except..." said the old man, and then he stopped.
"Except what?" asked the businessman.
"Nothing, nothing," said the old man.
"C'mon, tell me! I more...

A businessman was talking with his barber, when they both noticed a goofy-looking kid bouncing down the sidewalk.
The barber whispered, "That's Johnnie, one of the stupidest kids you'll ever meet. Here, I'll show you."
"Hey Johnnie! Come here!" yelled the barber.
Johnnie came bouncing over "Hello Sir!"
The barber pulled out a rusty dime and a shiny quarter and told Johnnie he could keep the one of his choice.
Johnnie looked long and hard at the dime and quarter and then quickly snapped the dime from the barber's hand.
The barber looked at the businessman and said, "See, I told you."
After his haircut, the businessman caught up with Johnnie and asked him why he chose the dime.
Johnnie looked at him in the eye and said, "If I take the quarter, the game is over."

The president of Chase Manhattan Bank decides he should take a vacation/business trip. Since the president has heard how much fun Taipei is, he decides to visit the offices there. He books two tickets, one for him and one for his secretary. After his arrival in Taipei, the president receives an urgent message from headquarters that the richest man in Taiwan wants to put all his money into a Chase Manhattan account. Since the account would be quite substantial, the president decides to meet personally with the man. The next day, the president and his secretary go to meet the Taiwanese at an exclusive restaurant. Throughout the dinner, the president tries to bring up the subject of opening the new account but the prospective client only seems interested in the president's secretary. After dinner, the businessman asks the secretary to spend the rest of the evening seeing the sights in Taipei with him. Not wishing to offend the prospective client, the president orders his secretary to go more...

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.
His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago? ”
The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for. ”

A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $
5000.
The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things:
1 screw $1 Knowing how to put it in $4999 $5000 total
The businessman never argued.