Builder Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's work. They're sat drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living. "I'll bet he's an accountant." said the first builder.
"Looks more like a stockbroker to me." argued the second. They continued to debate the subject for a good while until eventually the first builder needed to use the toilet. On walking in, he saw the smartly dressed man standing at a urinal.
"Excuse me mate, but me and my friend have been arguing over what a smartly dressed fella like you does for a living?" the builder said to the man.
Smiling the man replied, "I'm a logical scientist."
"A what?" asked the builder.
"Let me explain" the man continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"
A bit puzzled, but intrigued the builder decided to play along, "Yes, I do as it more...

One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown, which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing....
"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people won't call you' the bridge builder' if you do that here. No, no, they don't!"
"I remember building that house over there when I was 30. But people won't call you' the house builder' if you do that. No, no they don't!"
"I remember building that tavern that I still lounge at when I was 35. If you do that people won't call you' the tavern builder' either. They sure won't!"
"But if you fuck one goat......."

The builder
A cruise liner goes down in the Pacific and Benny is the only survivor. He manages to swim to an uninhabited island.
Many year`s later, when a search party finally comes to rescue him, they see that he has constructed two synagogues on his tiny island.
"Why the two synagogues?" the leader asks Benny.
Benny points to the nearest one and replies, "That`s the one I go to every Saturday. The other one, I wouldn`t go inside if you paid me!"

A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man. Old Man speaks; "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the Fence-Builder? Nooooo!"Then the old man gestured at the bar." Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor, for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the Bar Builder? Nooooooo!"Then the old man points out the window." Eh, Laddy, look out to sea... Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-thePier-Builder? Nooooo!"Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention and says: "But ya fuck one goat......"

Ahmed was showing a foreign vistor around his country and bemoaning the lack of gratitude his countrymen showed him for his considerable achievements.
"Look here" says Ahmed to the foreigner "at this vast and modern ship building yard", and the yards were indeed vast and modern.
"I built this myself. I own it. But do they call me 'Ahmed the ship builder'? No! They don't!"
"And look here" says Ahmed to the foreigner "at the modern and efficient road system we travelled on today", and the road system was indeed modern and efficient.
"I own the company that built these roads. But do they call me 'Ahmed the road builder'? No! They don't!"
"And look over there" says Ahmed to the foreigner "at that towering city on the horizon", and the city was indeed towering.
"I own two thirds of those buildings. I built that city. But do they call me 'Ahmed the city builder'? No! They don't call more...