Buck Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q:What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts cost a buck twenty-five. Deer nuts are under a buck!
A professor handed out the test papers to all of his students and returned to his desk to wait. When the test was over, the students handed them in.
As the professor was going through the papers, he noticed one student had paper-clipped a $100 bill to his test with an accompanying note saying "A buck a point".
The next day the professor handed the tests back to the respective students.
The student who attached the $100 bill to his, received his test score back along with $64 and a note saying, "here's your change".
To: All Staff Attorneys Subject: Depositions and Their Use
A friend sent me the following portion of a transcript, which was confirmed with one of the counsel involved (Ms. Olschner) and subsequently posted on Lexis Counsel Connect. The transcript is from Birmingham, Alabama, although the use of a deposition of a party opponent' for any purpose' is also in the federal rules. We have no word on what had happened immediately prior to this exchange:
The Court: Next witness.
Ms. Olschner: Your Honor, at this time I would like to swat Mr. Buck in the head with his client's deposition.
The Court: You mean read it?
Ms. Olschner: No, sir. I mean to swat him [in] the head with it. Pursuant to Rule 32, I may use the deposition' for any purpose' and that is the purpose for which I want to use it.
The Court: Well, it does say that.
(Pause.)
The Court: There being no objection, you may proceed.
Ms. more...
Two guys decide to go on a hunting trip. When there friend hears about it, he begges to go. The two men are skeptical, because every time there friend goes, he scares away all the game. The friend promises that if he is allowed to go, he will stay at the camp site, because he likes to camp more than hunt. They agree and they start on their trip.
Once camp is set up, the two men decide to go hunt, and their friend stays behind. After several hours they finally spot a ten point buck, but a shrill scream scares the buck away. The two men run back to camp, only to find their friend standing there looking up into the trees.
"What's wrong?" They asked. "Yeah, you scared off our game."
"I'm sorry, fellas. I didn't screm when the snake fell out of the tree and wrapped aound my neck. I didn't yell when the bear came out of the woods and mauled me nearly to death. But those SQUIRELS..."
What had happened to the poor man more...
Tom and Buck were shooting the bull in Tom's car.
Buck always admired Tom's success with women and asked him his secret. "See that design on the dashboard?" Tom replied "When I pick up a woman, she will eventually ask what it is. I tell her that the outer circle represents infinity--it has no beginning and no end. The inner circle represents the limitations we set for ourselves, and the dot in the center is mankind, confined within."
Buck, totally confused by the explanation of the circles, says "I still don't get it. How can that help you get laid?" "Easy. From a starting point like that, the conversation can get pretty philosophical. Women open right up, and next thing you know, you're making love to them."
Buck was still confused as hell about the concentric circles, but went home and painted them on his dashboard.
That night he managed to coax a young gal into his car for a ride. Sure enough, she inquired about the design more...