Boring Jokes / Recent Jokes
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him.
The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?" The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him up."
The Top Signs That You Have A Boring Job
You're introduced to everyone as "The Minesweeper God".
You have visited every website in the world.
You're the Spelling Bee Coordinator in rural Alabama.
You are the only one that is ready for the rush of ticket sales for that New Kids on the Block reunion tour.
You're able to pull staples out of papers with your teeth.
Your doctor says that he's never seen someone exposed to so much photocopier radiation in his life.
You've seen the late night commercial for the Chia Dildo.
Your workload is so intense that you can write Top 10 lists all day long.
In your 10 years on the force as an Amish Traffic Cop, you have not had to write one single speeding ticket.
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries.. But, now we know. If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race. .. you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework. .. you're a pansy. If you work too hard. .. there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough. .. you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay. .. this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay. .. you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her. .. that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you. .. it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks. .. it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet. .. it's male indifference. If you cry. .. you're a wimp. If you don't. .. you're insensitive. If you make a decision without consulting her. .. you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you. .. she's a liberated woman. If you ask more...
The young man was at a dinner party with a pretty girl, but spent the entire evening talking of nothing but cricket. He described all the matches he had played in great detail, how many runs he had scored and so on. Eventually, he stopped and said,' this must be boring for you, me
talking of cricket all the time.'
'Not at all,' she said.' Tell me, what is cricket?'
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries..But, now we know. If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework... you're a pansy. If you work too hard... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her... that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you... it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks... it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet... it's male indifference. If you cry... you're a wimp. If you don't... you're insensitive. If you make a decision without consulting her... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you... she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do more...
A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years - chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer introduced a guest lecturer to a class of 50 doctoral candidates.
Then, he and his colleagues studied variations in what he calls the HTFDR - "head-to-floor distance reduction." After about an hour, the average HTFDR dropped from 135cm to 121cm, said the author of the study, who preferred to remain anonymous.
The HTFDR immediately bounced back to normal when the speaker uttered the magic words: "And in conclusion..."