Boat Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him.
Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
So, the man in the boat drove off.
The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get in.
Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
The person in the boat then left.
The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in.
Jim said, "That's okay."
The woman said, "Are you sure?"
Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me."
Finally, the more...
A husband and wife went on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband enjoyed fishing at the crack of dawn, while the wife preferred to read.
One morning, the husband returned after fishing for a few hours and decided to take a nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. Not being familiar with the lake, she rowed out, anchored the boat and began to read her book.
A short time later, the sheriff pulled up alongside in his boat, and said, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading my book," she replied.
"I'm sorry, but you're in a restricted fishing area," he informed her.
"But Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" the woman argued.
"But you have all the equipment, ma'am. I'm going to have to take you in and write you up," he replied.
"Well, if you do that then I will charge you with rape," snapped the irate woman.
"I haven't even touched you," grumbled the more...
A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe.
So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.
Sam's approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.
Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam. "You can't do more...
A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an American man are sitting in a boat. The Chinese man throws a bowl of rice over the boat says, "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican man takes a dish full of tacos and throws it over the boat and say, "We have too much of this in our country." The American man takes the Mexican man and throws him over the boat and says, "We have to much of this in our country."
An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.The Japanese team won by a mile.Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering more...
One fine morning a sardar goes for a ride in his car. He is enjoying his
ride when suddenly he sees another sardarji in the middle of a field
rowing a boat.
Puzzled he stops the car and standing at the edge of the road screams,
"what are you doing rowing a boat in a field?".
The sardarji answers "it is an ocean of wheat and i am rowing a boat in
the ocean."
The sardar angrily says "it is because of sardars like you we have a bad
name. If only i knew to swim i would have come there and beaten you up".