Boat Jokes / Recent Jokes

A whole family was caught in a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but towed to safety in Fort Lauderdale by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard.
"I always knew God would take care of us," said the composed five year old daughter of the boat owner after the family got home.
"I like to hear you say that," beamed the mother. "Always remember that God is in his heaven watching over us."
"Oh, I wasn't talking about that God," the five year old interrupted.
"I was talking about the COAST God."

God looked down from heaven and saw a guy rowing a boat down the river singing Row row row your boat gentaly down the stream.
god thought,"What if I take away 30% of the guys brain?"
The guy sang,"Row- Boat- Stream."
Then god took Half the guys brain.
The guy sang Row- Stream."
God laughed and took 90% of the guys brain.
He said,"Ahhhhhhhhh... Stream."
God laughed some more and thought,"What if I take 100% of this guys brain."
The dude started singing,"Be all that you can be!"

A young lawyer decided that his life needed a hobby. Since his buddies talked about sailing, he thought he'd give it a go.

He went to the local boat show and asked a lot of questions. Everything seemed to be going well when he said, "How do you dock the boat?" The salesman replied, "Well, you really don't dock the sailboat, you tie it up to a float just beyond the dock. This way you don't bang up the finish on the craft."

"Well then," the lawyer asked, "How do you get out to the sailboat?"

"Good question." The salesman told him.? You can get a small raft and paddle out to the boat, or you can just walk out to the boat, if you don't mind getting wet.?

"Oh, I get it," the lawyer replied.. . . "It's Row vs Wade."

Learned from Noah and the Ark
1. Don't miss the boat.
2. Try to remember that we're all in the same boat.
3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark, you know.
4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.
5. Don't listen to critics, just get on with what has to be done.
6. Build your future on high ground.
7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
8. Two heads are better than one.
9. Speed isn't always an advantage; after all, the snails were on board with the cheetahs.
10. When you're stressed, try floating awhile.
11. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs; it was the Titanic that was built by professionals.
12. Remember that woodpeckers inside are a larger threat than storms outside.
13. No matter what the difficulty, trust in the Almighty: There'll be a rainbow at the end of the storm.

Once Rabdi, Lalu, Atalbihari & Sonia Gandhi Were Sailing In A Boat. If The Boat Drowns, Who Will Survive?
A. India Will Survive

Two Eskimos sitting in their boat were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the boat, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.

The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles!

Humiliated, the more...