Boasting Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said, "We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking for work." An Englishman said, "We are far more advanced than you. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him ready for work in just 3 weeks." The Irishman says, "That's nothing; we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another man's body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks." The American says, "Well hell, that's nothin'. We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is lookin' for work!"

Two friends Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were always boasting of their parents' achievements to each other.
Santa Singh: "Have you heard of the Suez Canal?"
Banta Singh: "Yes, I have."
Santa Singh: "Well, my father dug it."
Banta Singh: "That's nothing. Have you heard of the Dead Sea?"
Santa Singh: "Yes, I have."
Banta Singh: "Well, my father killed it."

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days."Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.""Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms youd just hear slap, slap, jingle.""What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."

An American was boasting to O'Leary that back in the US, they can erect skyscrapers in 4 weeks.
O'Leary replied that in Ireland they can start a row of houses in the morning and on the way home from work the bailiffs will be putting the tenants out for being behind with the rent.

Two Kids Were Always Boasting About Their Fathers.
First One: Do You Know The Suez Canal?
Second One: Yes I Know.
First One: My Father Dug It.
Second One: Do You Know The Dead Sea?
First One: Yes.
Second One: My Father Killed It.