Blowing Jokes / Recent Jokes
Blowing out another's candle will not make yours shine brighter.
Three ducks arrive at the Police station. In deciding why they’re here, a police officer goes up to the first duck and says ”What’s your name?? ” The duck replies ”Quack”. The police officer then asks ”And why are you here? ? ” The duck says ”For blowing bubbles in the pond. ” ”Blowing bubbles in the pond!! That’s illegal!! That’s a $50. 00 fine!! ” The duck agrees to pay the fine.
The police officer goes up to the second duck and says ”What’s your name?? ” The duck replies ”Quack Quack”. The police officer then asks ”And why are you here?? ” The duck says ”For blowing bubbles in the pond. ” ”Blowing bubbles in the pond!! That’s illegal!! That’s a $50. 00 fine!! ” The duck agrees to pay the fine.
The police officer goes up to the third duck and says ”And your name must be Quack Quack Quack. ” And the duck replies ”No, it’s Bubbles. ”
A blonde woman was driving her car home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a really bad hail storm. The hail stones were as big as golf balls and her car gets dented up really bad. The next day she takes it in to a repair shop to have the dents looked at.
The repair guy noticing that she is blonde and quite dingy when she speaks, decides to have some fun and tells her to blow into the tail pipe of the car really hard when she gets home, and that doing this will cause all of the dents to pop out.
When she gets home she starts blowing into the tail pipe as hard as she can, over and over. Just then, her best friend who also is blonde shows up. Her friend sees her blowing into the tail pipe and is quite startled by the action. She blurts out all flippantly, "What are you doing!?"
She tells her the repair guy told her to blow into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out.
Her girlfriend says "Duh! more...
40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN.....
1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel
like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by
cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of
foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a
difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to
extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake
repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head
from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get
their hand on a pair. Stroke, more...
One night a murder took place by a pond so the police were down there asking questions. A police officer goes up to the first duck and says state your name and where you were at the time of the murder. the duck replies my name is quack and i was down at the lake blowing bubbles. the cop goes to the next duck and says state your name and where you were at the time of the murder and the duck replies my name is quack quack and i was down at the lake blowing bubbles. the cop then goes on to the last duck and says let me guess your name is quack quack quack and you were down at the lake blowing bubbles and the duck says no i am bubbles.