Black Jokes / Recent Jokes
A just-married Chinese couple decided to make love on the wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband to buy condom from the shop nearby. When the husband left, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off. The husband had a hard time looking for a shop that sell condom and when he finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20 cents coin. He asked the shop owner to sell him one piece of condom and the shop owner asked him which quality does he want. "The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each." So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents with him. While the husband was out, a black Indian thief came into the room. The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband. She grabs the thief and happily screwing away. The wife more...
Berra`s Law: You can observe a lot just by watching. - Yogi Berra
Bierman`s Laws of Contracts: (1) In any given document, you can`t cover all the "what if`s". (2) Lawyers stay in business resolving all the unresolved "what if`s". (3) Every resolved "what if" creates two unresolved "what if`s".
Billing`s Law: Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so. - Josh Billings
Billings Phenomenon: The conclusions of most good operations research studies are obvious. - Robert E. Machol (The name refers to a well-known Billings story in which a farmer becomes concerned that his black horses are eating more than his white horses. He does a detailed study of the situation and finds that he has more black horses than white horses, Machol points out.)
Bloom`s Seventh Law of Litigation: The judge`s jokes are always funny.
Blutarsky`s Axiom: Nothing is impossible for the man who will not more...
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years. The NTSB covertly funded a project whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2% of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!"
Only the state of Texas was different, where 89.3% of the final words were, "Hey Y'all, hold my beer and watch this!"
We pick on everyone!
How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital? He's the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan. ===========================
Why don't Italians have acne? It slides off. ==========================
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong! ==========================
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses behind? A Mechanic. =========================
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A Speech Impediment! =========================
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring. =========================
Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? Because they're not going to work in the future either. =========================
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo!" ========================
Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A more...
Q: What´s black and white and goes round and around?
A: A Penguin in a revolving door.