Bitch Jokes / Recent Jokes
There is an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Ukranian and the are in their final stages of training for the FBI. The agents explained to them their final test."We have each one of your wives contained in separate cells and what you guys have to do in order to complete your FBI training is you have to prove your loyalty. You must grab that gun and go into your wifes cell and kill her."The englishman grabbed the gun. "Man I hate that bitch. She is going to get it good." He walked off into the cell and was in there for about a minute. There was just silence. He came out crying, "We've been maried too long. I just cant do it." So he was booted out.The frenchman grabbed the gun. "If I must, I must." He went into his wifes cell for about a minute and there was silence. He came walking out crying, "I love her too much. I just can't do it." So he was booted out.So the ukranian grabbed the gun and stormed into his wifes cell. "That fucking more...
One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina Morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. she tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. he tell me go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man more...
Whats a Pussy? After school one day Tod, an eager second-grader, came up to his mother and asked, "Mom, whats a pussy?" Somewhat startled by the question, but directing her answer away from the adult definition, the mother replied, "Son, sometimes people say the word pussy, for short, when they really mean pussycat. You know like Boots, the cat that lives next door. Boots could be called a pussy or better yet, pussycat." That didnt compute with what Tod heard on the playground that day, but he continued, "Mom, what about a bitch? What is a bitch?" She pursued her puritanical theme by answering, "Tod, an adult female dog is commonly referred to as a bitch. But Son, where did you hear such words?" "From the fourth-graders on the playground, Mom," he replied. "I think you should play with your second-grade friends and stay away from those fourth-graders," the mother stated. Later, Tod found his dad working in the garage. He went more...
A man accused of robbing a bank was tried for the final time and was found guilty. Just before he was taken away, the man looked the judge in the eye and said, "Would it be okay if I called you a son of a bitch?"The judge's face went red and he roared, "It most certainly would not! I'd add another two years onto your sentence!"The defendant nodded and then asked, "Would it be okay if I THOUGHT you were a son of a bitch?"The judge was becoming very annoyed but replied, "Yes, I suppose that would be okay. I obviously have no control over your thoughts."The defendant smiled and said, "Well, in that case, judge, I think you are a son of a bitch!"
A man accused of robbing a bank was tried for the final time and was found guilty.
Just before he was taken away, the man looked the judge in the eye and said, "Would it be okay if I called you a son of a bitch?"
The judge's face went red and he roared, "It most certainly would not! I'd add another two years onto your sentence!"
The defendant nodded and then asked, "Would it be okay if I THOUGHT you were a son of a bitch?"
The judge was becoming very annoyed but replied, "Yes, I suppose that would be okay. I obviously have no control over your thoughts."
The defendant smiled and said, "Well, in that case, judge, I think you are a son of a bitch!"
There's a blonde in a bar, huge tits, an ass to die for...all round fuckin' babe. A group of guys across the bar see this fine lookin' lady and decide they are going to see if the leader of the group can pick this chick up! So all the guys put $20 in the pot and send off this sorry bastard toward the blonde. He's standing there, she smiles...he whispers a few sweet nothings in her ear, she laughs...he takes her by the hand, and she leaves with him. The guys can't believe it!
So the guy and gal end up goin' back to his place. The guy has the largest fuckin' dick on in the world and before a fat bitch could finish eating a penis, they're fucking like
pigs!
After about 2 minutes of hard wet and juicy banging, the guy cums all over the bitch an decides he's had enough and tells the blonde to roll over.
After about 3 minutes of layin' around the blonde turns towards the guy and asks, "Do you have AIDS?" He says, "Fuck no!" And she replies, more...