Bitch Jokes / Recent Jokes
A few days ago, I overheard my small grandson doing his airthmetic homework. Three plus one, the son of a bitch is four," he was saying. "Three plus two, the son of a bitch is five. Three plus three, the son of a bitch is six." And so on. Horrified, I asked him where on earth he had picked up that language. "Oh, that's the way they teach us at school," he replied. The following day I went to see his teacher and asked her about it. At first she was equally horrified, then her face broke into a grin. "I get it!" she cried. "We teach the children to say "Tree plus one, THE SUM OF WHICH IS FOUR." Three plus is two, the sum of which is five."---F. H
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun all summer." Then she aked a youngster in the front now: "Harry, what should I do to correct that?" Meybe---get a boy friend?" he suggested more...
confession
One day a girl went to church to make a confession
She went in and said: father forgive for I have sin
Priest: what is the problem my child.
Girl: I call a man son of a bitch
Priest: why in the world would you call a man son of a bitch?
Girl: because he touched my breast
Priest: like this
Girl: yes
Priest: that is no reason to call a man son of a bitch
Girl: and then he took of my cloth
Priest: like this
Girl: yes
Priest: but that is no reason to call a man son of a bitch
Girl: and then he touch my private part
Priest: like this
Girl: yes
Priest: but that is no reason to call a man son of a bitch
Girl: and then he put his you know what in my you know what'
Priest: like this
Girl: yes
Priest: that is no reason to call a man son of a bitch
Girl: but father... he had AIDS
Priest: son of a bitch
Dear Santa,
I understand that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for changes in her contract, specifically asking for anatomical and career changes.
In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging remarks were made about me, my ability to please, and some of my fashion choices. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you of some issues concerning
Ms. Barbie, and some of my own needs and desires.
First of all, I along with several other colleagues feel Barbie DOES NOT deserve preferential treatment-the bitch has EVERYTHING!! I, along with Joe, Jem, Raggedy Ann Andy, DO NOT have a dream house, Corvette, evening gowns, and in some cases, the ability to change our hairstyle. I personally have 3 outfits which I am forced to mix and match at great length. My decision to accessorise my outfits with an earring was my
decision and reflects my lifestyle choice.
I, too, would like a change in my career. Have you considered: ”Decorator more...
An accused bank robber was tried for his crime and was found guilty.
Just prior to being taken away, he looked the judge in the eye and asked, "Would it be okay if I call you a son of a bitch?"
The judge's face reddened as he bellowed, "It most certainly would not! I would add more time to your sentence."
Nodding, the defendant said, "What if I THOUGHT it? Would that be okay?"
Although annoyed, the judge restrained himself and calmly replied, "Yes, I suppose that would be okay. Obviously, I have no control over your thoughts."
Smirking, the defendant said, "In that case, Judge, I think you're a son of a bitch!"
She likes to be a bitch so much that it pisses her off when her period ends.
There is an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Ukranian and the are in their final stages of training for the FBI. The agents explained to them their final test.
"We have each one of your wives contained in separate cells and what you guys have to do in order to complete your FBI training is you have to prove your loyalty. You must grab that gun and go into your wifes cell and kill her."
The englishman grabbed the gun. "Man I hate that bitch. She is going to get it good." He walked off into the cell and was in there for about a minute. There was just silence. He came out crying, "We've been maried too long. I just cant do it." So he was booted out.
The frenchman grabbed the gun. "If I must, I must." He went into his wifes cell for about a minute and there was silence. He came walking out crying, "I love her too much. I just can't do it." So he was booted out.
So the ukranian grabbed the gun and stormed into his wifes cell. more...