Base Jokes / Recent Jokes
There are TWO teams, with eleven players each (instead of nine as in baseball).
Instead of four bases, there are only two; in the middle of the field, sixty-six feet apart... all running is between the two bases... the ball can be hit in front, OR behind... or, in ANY direction.
Instead of rotating batting for nine innings each, EACH team does all its batting in a SINGLE inning.
The team scoring more runs wins the game.
[NOTE: Unlike baseball, where a pitcher rests every 10 or so pitches when the BATTING rotates, cricket pitchers rest every 6 pitches as their PITCHING rotates.]
The fielding team works with TWO pitchers at the same time.
The first pitcher throws from one base to the other. After six throws, the catcher moves around behind the first pitcher's base, pitcher #2 takes over. He makes six throws in the opposite direction (i. e. towards the starting pitcher's base). The two pitchers keep more...
Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it takes to run from first to second?
Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it takes to run from first to second?
Because you have a short stop between second and third.
How to Argue Effectively I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules: -=- Make things up. Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you are not going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say instead: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1, 452. 81 per annum, which is $836. 07 before the mean gross poverty level." NOTE: Always make up exact figures. If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission more...
A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So, a message is sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it. He finally gets to the air base only to find that the latrine pump has been left outdoors and is frozen solid so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even more time. He finally arrives at the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as to not risk criticism later. As he's leaving the plane, the pilot, an Air Force Major, stops him and says, "Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late, and I'm going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded, but punished." The poor guy says, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your more...
DELHI official, a Bombay girl and a Mathura cow-all manage to get back to their base.
Standardized Guide to the Bases Do you remember middle school/junior high/high school? If so, do you remember talking about' the bases' with your friends?"Yeah man, at the dance, X and Y went behind the gym and they got tosecond base!"Well that was cool and all, but what the hell was secondbase? Tongue kissing? Up the shirt? Noone was really sure. Also, thebases tended to get progressively more intense as you got older. What's aperson to do? Here, we mourn the passing of using baseball ananlogies to describesexual activity. But let's face it, there are more than four stages intodays day and age of sex play. So, in the interests of both bringingbaseball sex metaphors in line with the complications of modern romanceand with standardizing the bases, we present the Standardized Guide to theBases. First, let's examine what the bases could have meant in the old days. --First Base- This was almost always kissing, although one guyI knew thought it meant holding hands. Sometimes it more...