Barnyard Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."

Once upon a time, on a farm in Arkansas, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat.She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?""Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose."Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did; The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain."Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen."Not I," said the duck."Out of my classification," said the pig."I'd lose my welfare," said the cow."I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose."Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the more...

Once upone a time, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat.
She called her neighbors and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
Not I," said the cow.
Not I," said the duck.
Not I," said the pig.
Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen.
And she did. The wheat grew tall and repened into golden grain.
"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.
At last it came time to bake the bread.
"Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red more...

A duck hunter is out one day having no luck. He hunts the whole morning and couldn't get a single kill. On the way home he comes up to a farm house and flying over the barnyard is a big flock of fat mallards.
Seeing his last chance for success, he takes aim at what looked like the biggest duck in the flock and gave it both barrels. The duck fell from the sky and landed in the middle of a barnyard.
As the hunter nears the barnyard and the dead duck, he sees he's got himself a beauty. But when he is a mere 20 paces from the duck, a farmer steps out of the barn, picks up the duck and heads for the house.
"Hey!" said the hunter, "Come back with my duck!"
"Your duck?" says the farmer, "It was lying dead in my barnyard; it's MY duck."
"No! No! You don't understand!, shouts the hunter, "I shot it and it just happened to fall here. It's mine!"
"Okay, city fella. We'll settle this the country way," says more...

Once upon a time, on a farm in Arkansas, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?" "Not I," said the cow. "Not I," said the duck. "Not I," said the pig. "Not I," said the goose. "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did; The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen. "Not I," said the duck. "Out of my classification," said the pig. "I'd lose my welfare," said the cow. "I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose. "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the more...

An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn't interested because he hadn't seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money.
The farmer still didn't think he needed any insect repellent but he felt sorry for the salesman and said, "I'm so sure there aren't any insects around here, if you'll strip naked, I'll tie you to my barnyard fence for the entire night. When morning comes, if you've got even one insect bite on you, I'll buy every can of repellent you've got."
The salesman was elated and readily agreed to being tied up naked. That night, the farmer tied the naked salesman to the barnyard fence and went to bed. Several times during the night he thought he heard the salesman moaning and groaning.
However, when he went out the next morning, the salesman didn't have even one bite or scratch on him. The farmer asked, "What was all that moaning more...

Once upon a time, on a farm in Arkansas. . . . . . there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, “If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it? ”"Not I, ” said the cow. ”Not I, ” said the duck. ”Not I, ” said the pig. ”Not I, ” said the goose. ”Then I will do it by myself, ” said the little red hen. And so she did; The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. “Who will help me reap my wheat? ” asked the little red hen.
”Not I, ” said the duck. ”Out of my classification, ” said the pig. ”I’d lose my seniority, ” said the cow. ”I’d lose my unemployment compensation, ” said the goose. ”Then I will do it by myself, ” said the little red hen, and so she did. At last it came time to bake the bread. “Who will help me bake the bread? ” asked the little red hen. ”That would more...