Banana Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, its all right. I know whats inside.

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say Banana!

Teacher: Kusum, Tell Me, Which Is The Leather That Makes The Best Shoes?
Kusum: I Dont Know, Teacher. But Banana Peels Make The Best Slippers.

(This is one that was told to me by an American when I was in Germany, 30 years ago)

This man had a great pain in his tummy, so he decided to go and see his Doctor.
The Doctor examined the man's stomach and proclaimed that he had a huge worm therein. It was a monster of a worm!
The Doctor told the man that there was only one way in which to get rid of it, and asked him to come back the next evening at 5 pm and to bring a banana, a hammer and a cookie when he comes.
The man exclaimed, "A banana, a hammer and a cookie?" and the doctor replied, "Yes, a banana, a hammer and a cookie.
The man went away puzzled and came at 5pm the next day with a banana, a hammer and a cookie.
The Doctor took the man into his surgery and asked him to take off his pants and to bend over. He then unpeeled the banana and shoved it up the man's arse and beat it right in with the hammer, started a stop-watch and exactly five minutes later he shoved the cookie up more...

There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he'd never left it on its own.
But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor.
So he explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock.
But he was never ever, ever to touch its fur.
So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking,? Why can't I touch its fur?? as their didnt seem to be anything wrong with it.
Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldnt understand until, about a week later, he'd worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla.
He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur.
Suddenly the gorilla went ape shit and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man more...

What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes? A banana split!

Ingredients:
2 Laughing Eyes
2 Loving Arms
2 Well Shaped Legs
2 Firm Milk Containers
1 Fur Lined Mixing Bowl
2 Large Nuts
1 Large Banana
Method:
Look into Loving Eyes.
Fold in Loving Arms.
Spread Well Shaped Legs.
Squeeze and massage Milk Containers gently until Fur Lined Mixing Bowl is well greased. Check frequently with middle finger.
Add Banana - work in and out until well creamed.
Cover with Nuts and sigh with relief.
Cake done when Banana becomes soft. Be sure to wash mixing utensils and don't lick the bowl.
N.B. If cake begins to rise leave town immediately.