Balcony Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three men die and go to heaven. They meet up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, and he says, "Well, there's not that much room left in heaven, so you have to tell me an interesting way that you died, and if it's interesting enough, I'll let you in."So St. Peter goes into his office and calls in the first man.He says, "I was coming home from work one day early, and when I walked in the door, I had a strange suspicion that my wife was cheating on me. I walk into our room and sure enough, find her sprawled out naked alone on our bed. Sure that the guy was in the house, I searched frantically to find him... Under the bed, in the closet... Finally I found him hanging from our ledge on our balcony. Furious, I stepped on his hand and he went plummetting two stories down. However, he landed in a bush and I wasn't sure if he was dead yet. So I pushed the refrigerator out onto him. Later, I felt so guilty I committed suicide.""Wow," said St. Peter, "that's a more...

A lovely woman decided to visit a penthouse restaurant. So she rode the elevator to the top floor of the building. She had a drink at the bar and then decided to get some fresh air, so she walked out on the balcony. She got too close to the railing and fell over the side.
As she was falling about thirteen floors, a man was standing on the balcony below. He reached out his arms and engulfed her, pulling her to his chest. He asked, "Do you f***?" She answered, of course not. I'm not a slut!" The man opened his arms and said, "Sorry."
As she had fallen another thirteen floors, another man was standing on a balcony, and he reached out, grabbed her in his arms, pulled her to his chest and asked, "Do you suck?" She answered, "Of course not. what kind of a girl do you think I am?" The man opened his arms, and said, "Sorry."
As she had fallen another thirteen floors, another man was standing on a balcony. He reached out, more...

On the top of a tall building in a large city, there was a bar. In this bar, a man was drinking heavily. He would ask the bartender for a tequila shot, then walk out to the balcony and jump off. Minutes later he would appear in the elevator and repeat the whole process.
This one guy watched this happen a number of times until curiosity got the better of him.
Finally he went up to the man and asked, "Hey, you keep drinking, then jumping off the balcony. And yet, minutes later, you're back again. How do you do it?"
"Well," said the other man, "the shot of tequila provides buoyancy such that when I get near the ground, I slow down and land gently. It's lot of fun. You should try it."
The guy, who was also quite drunk, thought to himself, "Hey, why not?"
So he goes out to the balcony, jumps off, and seconds laterhe has splatted straight onto the ground, stone dead.
The bartender looks over to the other guy and says, more...

High Above Fifth Ave. and 34th Street
Two men were drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One
turns to the other and says, "You know, last week I discovered that if you
jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor,
the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the
building and back into the window."
The bartender overhears this and just shakes his head in disapproval while
wiping down the bar.
The second man says, "What, are you a nut? There is no way in hell that
could happen!"
The first man says, "No, it's true. Let me prove it to you." He gets up from
the bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens toward the street below.
When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building
and back into the 10th floor window where he takes the elevator back up to
the bar.
The second man says, "You know, I saw more...

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city and they decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighbourhood activities. To a young boy, they thought, spying would be a lot of fun and would distract him for an hour or so. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are making whoopie." Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.