Bait Jokes / Recent Jokes

These two guys up north wanted to go ice fishing, so they went to a bait shop. They got some bait and two boxes of icepicks. They went up to the clerk and payed for them. After that they went to the lake. About two hours later they came back to the bait shop and bought another two boxes of icepicks. When they went to pay for them, the clerk said "Man, you must be catching a lot". One of the guys told the clerk, "Heck no, we haven't even got the boat in the water yet!"

LONG BEACH, Calif. (AP) - A charter boat deckhand trying to make a group of California schoolchildren laugh has choked to death on a bait fish he put in his mouth.
Capt. Dan Salas of the 55-foot Gail Force said Tuesday that deckhand Jeff Twaddle died last week off Long Beach in front of about 20 elementary school students from the Los Angeles area. He called it a "tragic freak accident."
Authorities say the 54-year-old longtime fisherman was trying to "make the students laugh" when he popped the fish in his mouth. It lodged in his throat and Twaddle quickly lost consciousness. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.
School officials sent a note to parents and were providing grief counselors for students.

An old country boy pulls up to a bait shop with a stringer full of fish. A man, noticing the stringer, asks him where he caught all the fish. He said he was going fishing again, tomorrow, and if the guy wanted to come with him he'd show him where he caught the fish.
The next morning the two men meet at the bait shop and head out for the lake. They row out to the middle of the water and the good ole boy pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it and throws it in the water. All kinds of fish float to the surface and he starts pulling them in the boat.
His buddy is shocked! He says, "You know, what you're doing is not only improper but highly illegal. I just want you to know you could receive a big fine or maybe even go to jail. I know what I'm talking about because I work for the wildlife dep't and I'm what they call a 'game warden'." The good old boy takes out another stick of dynamite, lights it and sticks it in his friend's hand and says, "You gonna fish or just more...

One of my students pulled this one on me years ago. It was so good that I couldn't discipline him.

Sometimes the students chose their own topics for writing. Sometimes they had a list from which I wanted them to choose. Whatever the case at the time, one student asked to write about his summer vacation. I told him that would be fine.

He wrote a lovely paper about going to the coast and getting a summer job on a fishing boat. He described how, without any skills, he was still able to obtain work as a' bait boy' on the boat. It was his job to make sure the bait was provided, cut up, if necessary, and even put on the hooks if the customers wanted him to do that. He did well, was given more responsibilities, and advanced quickly in the job. By the summer, he had done so well that he was made. . . ' master baiter.' (By Herhsy)

One day, this woman went to a bait shop to get her husband a fishing reel for his birthday. After selecting one, she inquired as to its cost. The owner replied, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm blind and cannot see what reel you have. If you drop it on the floor, I'll recognize it and be of more help." So she did just that. After hearing it hit the floor, the owner said, "That's the Johnson Model9400. It'll be $40. 00." The woman decided to take it so she went to pick it up off the floor. Upon bending over, she let rip a stinky, sqeaky fart. The owner rang up the sale and said, "That'll be fifty dollars." Fifty dollars?!?!" the woman exclaimed. "You just told me that is was forty dollars a moment ago!""Yes, I did", said the owner, "But that was for the reel. The duck call is another $7. 50 and the stink bait is $2. 50."

Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait. After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait... so he got up and walk across the water. After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom. The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, "Should we have told him where the rocks were? "

One of my students pulled this one on me years ago. It was so good that I couldn't discipline him.
Sometimes the students chose their own topics for writing. Sometimes they had a list from which I wanted them to choose. Whatever the case at the time, one student asked to write about his summer vacation. I told him that would be fine.
He wrote a lovely paper about going to the coast and getting a summer job on a fishing boat. He described how, without any skills, he was still able to obtain work as a "bait boy" on the boat. It was his job to make sure the bait was provided, cut up, if necessary, and even put on the hooks if the customers wanted him to do that. He did well, was given more responsibilities, and advanced quickly in the job. By the summer, he had done so well that he was made: "Master Baiter."