Awaited Jokes

This article came from a fellow named Keith Wortham.
In anticipation of a PC MAGAZINE review of the well promoted but NON-AVAILABLE Microsoft Windows 4. 0, he went ahead and wrote it in the typical "objective" style the magazine usually uses with Microsoft products. He is planning to submit it to the magazine before they can come out with their own bubbly "review" of the promised product.
As you know, the magazine carries big ads for Microsoft. From what I am told, ZIFF-DAVIS, which owns PC MAGAZINE, ALSO OWNS A SUBSIDIARY THAT HAS THE MARKETING ACCOUNT FOR MICROSOFT! (Does that strike you as a bit of a CONFLICT OF INTEREST, and ample incentive for total "non-objectivity?")
Quoting Keith Wortham:
"The latest issue of PC Magazine contains the exciting and long awaited news that there will be an article on Windows 4. 0 appearing in the next issue. To save those of you who do not subscribe from having to buy the magazine, we thought more...

Old Ethel loved to race her wheelchair around the retirement home.

Oneday while she was racing her wheelchair around the halls like normal, she ran into an old man standing in the middle of the narrow hall.

"Stop," the old man said, "your speeding. I'll need to see your licence."

So Ethel dug through her robe pockets, pulled out a KIT-KAT wraper and handed it to the old man.

He looked at it for a moment handed it back and said,"Here, your free to go, but I don't wanna see you speeding again,... ok."

With that Ethel speed off around the next corner where another old man awaited her.

"Stop! Your speeding." He says,"I need to see your licence and registration."

Again Ethel dug through her robe pockets this time she pulled out the KIT-KAT wraper and a pillow tag.

She handed these to the old man who glanced at them and handed them more...