Attendant Jokes / Recent Jokes

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. "Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger. "Well, what on the good earth are they for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving" says Tiger. "Frickin 'eck" says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!".

Why did the blonde quit his job as a restroom attendant?
He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant obviously knows nothing about golf, greeting him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of the identity of the golfing pro.
"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir," says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees," replies Tiger.
"Well, what on the good earth are they for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger.
"Feckin Jaysus," says the Irishman, "BMW tinks of everything!"

John and Cathy were driving through Arkansas farmlands on their way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel
gauge, John decided to stop at the next gas station and fill up. About five minutes later, he spotted one and pulled over to the
high octane pump.
"What can I do fer y'all?," asks the attendant.
"Fill her up with high-test," replied John.
While the attendant was filling up the tank, he started checking out the car. "What kind of car is dat?" he asked, ". . . never
seen one like it b'fore." "Well," responded John, his chest swelling up with pride, "This, my boy, is a 1997 Mercedes Benz."
"What all does it got in it?" asked the attendant. "It has everything," John said. "It has power steering, power seats, power
sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10-deck CD player, 8-speaker stereo, disks brakes all around, leather interior,
digital more...

Why did the blonde quit his job as a restroom attendant?
He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is."Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground."What are those?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger."Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman."They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger."Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!"

A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she's trying the local pet shops. She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks for a moment and then says, "I've got just the thing for you madam. I'll just get him." With that, he disappears into the back of the shop, and returns a few seconds later with a cute little puppy. "This dog is a special dog," he tells her. "It is able to fly," he explains, and with that throws the dog into the air. It immediately begins to float gracefully around the shop. "There is one problem with him, however. Whenever you say' my', he'll eat whatever you've mentioned. Watch. "My apple!" The lady watches in astonishment as the dog zooms over to the shop attendant and furiously devours an apple he has produced from his pocket. "He's cute, and so unusual. I'll take him," she says, and a few minutes later she is on her way back home with dog to show her husband. more...