Appearance Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why do women pay so much attention to their appearance rather than to
improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Why do women pay so much attention to their appearance rather than toimproving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
New Barbie dolls to represent the diversity of women in the 90's:
DIVORCED BARBIE
comes with all of Ken's accessories
TEENAGE SINGLE PARENT BARBIE
"welfare check" from Mattel mailed each month
CRACK ADDICT BARBIE
pipe included, sugar may be used to simulate crack cocaine
BOULEVARD BARBIE
with cheap makeup, short skirt, and high heels
LESBIAN BARBIE
Barbie with a butch
LIPSTICK LESBIAN BARBIE
actually no different in appearance from regular Barbie
BULIMOREXIA BARBIE
also no different in appearance from regular Barbie
BRUNETTE BARBIE
the only Barbie with a brain
QUANTUM PHYSICIST BARBIE
yeah, right
BOW-WOW BARBIE
the ugliest Barbie you've ever seen
PUNK BARBIE
has rings in all sorts of strange places
NAVY PILOT BARBIE
comes with a body bag, wrecked fighter jet sold separately
BREAST IMPLANT BARBIE
now Barbie's a D-cup
CANCER PATIENT BARBIE
remove the wig and Barbie's more...
A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the world series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces of him are
peeling and flaking off, and he's very concerned about grossing out
the other fans.
The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where his
grotesque appearance won't disturb anyone else. Finally he finds an open seat where he might be able to watch the game. He asks the man
in the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there.
The man answers, "Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game."
The leper sits down and adds, "As you can see, I have leprosy. If
it disturbs you, I will move."
"It doesn't bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game."
A while later, during the fourth inning, the man suddenly vomits.
Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere.
Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowing
me to sit more...
Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The word "engineer" is greatly overused. If there's somebody in your life who you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to discern the truth. You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You...
A. Straighten it.
B. Ignore it.
C. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self- adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron.
The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing."
SOCIAL SKILLS
Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction:
* more...
A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the world series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces of him are peeling and flaking off, and he's very concerned about grossing out the other fans. The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where his grotesque appearance won't disturb anyone else. Finally he finds an open seat where he might be able to watch the game. He asks the man in the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there. The man answers, "Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game." The leper sits down and adds, "As you can see, I have leprosy. If it disturbs you, I will move." "It doesn't bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game." A while later, during the fourth inning, the man suddenly vomits. Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere. Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowing me to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has more...
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance thanto improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.