Ankles Jokes / Recent Jokes

Alp:
One of a number of ski mountains in Europe. Also a shouted request for assistance made by a European.
Avalanche:
One of the few actual perils skiers face that needlessly frighten timid individuals away from the sport. See also: Blizzard, First Aid, Fracture, Frostbite, Hypothermia, Lift Collapse.
Bindings:
Automatic mechanisms that protect skiers from serious injury during a fall by releasing skis from boots, sending the skis skittering across the slope where they trip two other skiers.
Bones:
There are 206 in the human body. No need for dismay, however; the two bones of the middle ear have never been broken while skiing.
Cross-Country Skiing:
Traditional Scandinavian all-terrain technique. It's good exercise, doesn't require purchase of costly lift tickets. It has no crowds or lines. See also Cross-Country Something-Or-Other.
Cross-Country Something-or-Other:
Touring on skis along trails in scenic wilderness, gliding through more...

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS? A: Lipstick.Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop.Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick? A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth.Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks.Q: Why do blondes wear panties? A: They make good ankle warmers.Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show! Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? A: Remove their underwear.Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"Q: What's the mating call of the brunette? A: "All the more...

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles. Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS? A: Lipstick. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick? A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole." Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks. Q: Why do blondes wear panties? A: They make good ankle warmers. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show! Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? A: Remove their underwear. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"Q: What's the mating call of the brunette? A: more...

Now that ski season is almost here, it's time to brush up on those important skiing definitions:

Alp: One of a number of ski mountains in Europe. Also a shouted request for assistance made by a European.

Avalanche: One of the few actual perils skiers face that needlessly frighten timid individuals away from the sport. See also: Blizzard, First Aid, Fracture, Frostbite, Hypothermia, Lift Collapse.

Bindings: Automatic mechanisms that protect skiers from serious injury during a fall by releasing skis from boots, sending the skis skittering across the slope where they trip two other skiers.

Bones: There are 206 in the human body. No need for dismay, however; the two bones of the middle ear have never been broken while skiing.

Cross-Country Skiing: Traditional Scandinavian all-terrain technique. It's good exercise, doesn't require purchase of costly lift tickets. It has no crowds or lines. See also Cross-Country more...

Suicidal blonde
A blonde girl got so mad about blonde jokes she decided to kill herself.
She finds a suitable tree and proceeds to hang herself by the ankles.
Two guys come over and say, "Are you trying to kill yourself?"
The blonde replies, "Yes, I am."
One of the men says, "Then shouldn't you hang the rope on your neck instead of your ankles?"
The blonde says, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."

A woman and her husband decided to go on a skiing trip one weekend. They rode the ski lift to the top of the mountain, and were preparing to go down. The woman suddenly announced that she needed to use the restroom, and NOW. Her husband told her that since the coast was clear, she could just hide behind a tree and go.
Well, the woman had her pants down around her ankles when she suddenly began going down the mountain. She hit a tree on the way down and broke her leg and her arm and had several other bumps and bruises.
When she awoke at the hospital, she was surprised to see another man who was dressed in a skiing outfit and also looked as if he had been in a skiing accident. The woman was very curious about this man, so she asked him what happen.
You'll never believe it, he told her. I was just skiing down the mountain, and a woman went by with her pants around her ankles, and I crashed into a bush.

Why do blondes have T. G. I. F. printed on each shoe?
"Toes Go In First."
What is the mating call of a blonde?
"I think I'm getting drunk"
What is the mating call of the brunette?
"Is the blonde bitch gone yet?"
What do blondes say after sex?
"Who were those men?"
Why do blondes wear panties?
"To keep their ankles warm!"
How do blondes turn on the lights after sex?
"Open the car door!"
What does a blonde have in common with an airplane?
"They both have a black box."
What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
"Goes Home."
What does a blonde wear behind her ears to attract men?
"Her ankles!"
What do you call a blonde with a dollar over her head?
"All You Can Eat, Under a Dollar!"
What does a blonde have in common with a turtle?
"If they end up on their back, they're more...