Americas Got Talent Jokes

One Headliners (1)

What is the real headline?

Twelve Men Arrested in Cock Fighting Ring
Three Men Fight over Cock Ring
Two Women Arrested for Fighting Over a Cock


When Bush Comes To Shove
When Bush Comes To Shave
When Bush Cums

Springtime for Paris Hilton
Bedsprings for Paris Hilton
Jerry Springer for Paris Hilton

May 14 - May 20

"It was a constant struggle trying to keep that fool from driving me off the road."

- Supercar KITT, commenting on David Hasselhoff's battle with alcoholism.

Actor David Hasselhoff underwent surgery on Thursday after severing a tendon in his arm. Upon waking up in the hospital, doctors played a practical joke on Hasselhoff and told him he'd been in a coma for 25 years. When he started talking about his career they told him it must have all been a dream, that they had never heard of KITT or Pamela Anderson and that Germany hasn't existed for years. As we speak, a duped Hasselhoff is cleaning bedpans trying to pay off his bill.

The new season of America's Got Talent premired tonight, as a result millions without freedom of expression wondered what they are fighting for.

Despite low ratings, there appears to be a clear winner in this summer's America's Got Talent. It's Sonia Sotomayor.