Amendment Jokes

Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair,
soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar
principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.
Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in
their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward
motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's
surcease.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of
directed-pressure explosions more...

NEW YORK (AFP) - By a 67-47 percent margin, New Yorkers think senator Hillary Clinton would do a better job as US president than their former mayor Rudolph Giuliani, a Quinnipiac University poll found.

In a related story, the Democratic majority in Congress passed the 28th Amendment. This amendment will go into effect in 2008 and award New York State all 538 electoral college votes.

Support the 28th Amendment: Convicted felons shall not have the right to demand or expect better treatment or conditions than the members of the public at large.

-It's a gated community, it's exclusionary. Fourteenth amendment issues. -The white, fleece stairway to heaven, gilded with the rays of sun does not comply with the American with Disabilities Act - E. E. O. C. Reg. 2. 87351, which requires a gradually inclining ramp or an escalator subject to an undue burden defense for the proprietor. - Heaven is zoned for residential family housing, so it's hard to build affordable, large apartment complexes for low income families. - In heaven, according to scripture, you tithe at 10%; liberals think the marginal rate should be more like 38%. - Racial profiling, whites walked through the gates of heaven, and even if the metal detector goes off, they rarely get stopped and searched, but if a black is milling about outside the gates of heaven near the parked chariots with clubs on the steering wheels, they are subject to police questioning even though they're doing nothing wrong. - They teach creationism in the classroom. - Sinners in the cells of more...

From the 1/26/96 editorial page of the Manchester Union Leader,
with credits to the Western Journalism Center:
In the New Mexico Legislature's 1995 session, Sen.
Duncan Scott, a Republican from Albuquerque, proposed an amendment
to a psychologist regulatory bill offered by another senator.
The Scott amendment would have dramatically changed the face
of New Mexico's legal system:
The amendment said: ''When a psychologist or psychiatrist testifies
during a defendant's competentcy hearing, the psychologist or
psychiatrist shall wear a cone-shaped hat that is not less than
two feet tall. The surface of the hat shall be imprinted
with stars and lightning bolts.
''Additionally, a psychologist or psychiatrist shall be required
to don a white beard that is not less than 18 inches in length,
and shall punctuate crucial elements of his testimony by
stabbing the air with a wand. Whenever a psychologist or
psychiatrist provides more...