Alfred Jokes

Teacher: Alfred, how can one person make so many mistakes in one day?
Alfred: I get up early.

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Alfred!
Alfred who!
Alfred of the dark! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Alfred!
Alfred who!
Alfred the needle if you sew!

TEACHER: Jack, how old are you on your last birthday?
JACK: 7 years old
TEACHER: How old are you going to be on your next birthday?
JACK: 9 years old
TEACHER: That's impossible!
JACK: No it's not. I'm 8 today.
TEACHER: Mike, go to the map and show me where America is.
MIKE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Good. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Mike !!!
TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you when you misbehave?
STUDENT: Yes sir. But since I didn't keep my promise, you don't need to keep yours.
COOL STUDENT: Teacher would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: No.
COOL STUDENT: Good 'cos I didn't do my homework.
TEACHER: Alfred, name one important thing that we have today and we don't 10 years ago.
ALFRED: Me !!!
TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No. I'm Billy Anderson.
TEACHER: In this box I have a 10-foot snake.
STUDENT: You more...

TEACHER: Jack, how old are you on your last birthday? JACK: 7 years oldTEACHER: How old are you going to be on your next birthday? JACK: 9 years oldTEACHER: That's impossible! JACK: No it's not. I'm 8 today.TEACHER: Mike, go to the map and show me where America is.MIKE: Here it is ! TEACHER: Good. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Mike !!! TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave? STUDENT: Yes sir.TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you when you misbehave? STUDENT: Yes sir. But since I didn't keep my promise, you don't need to keep yours.COOL STUDENT: Teacher would you punish me for something I didn't do? TEACHER: No.COOL STUDENT: Good 'cos I didn't do my homework.TEACHER: Alfred, name one important thing that we have today and we don't 10 years ago.ALFRED: Me !!! TEACHER: Are you chewing gum? BILLY: No. I'm Billy Anderson.TEACHER: In this box I have a 10-foot snake.STUDENT: You can't fool me teacher! Snakes don't have feet !!! HYGIENE TEACHER: How do you prevent deseases more...

Millionaire: What's your name, driver?

Driver: Alfred, sir.

Millionaire: I always call my drivers by their last names.

Driver: It's Sweetheart, sir.

Millionaire: Drive on, Alfred.