Aid Jokes / Recent Jokes

Real software engineers eat quiche.

Real software engineers don`t read dumps. They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused.

Real software engineers don`t comment their code. The identifiers are so mnemonic they don`t have to.

Real software engineers don`t write applications programs, they implement algorithms. If someone has an application that the algorithm might help with, that`s nice. Don`t ask them to write the user interface, though.

If it doesn`t have recursive function calls, real software engineers don`t program in it.

Real software engineers don`t program in assembler. They become queasy at the very thought.

Real software engineers don`t debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn`t necessarily involve executing anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package.

Real software engineers like C`s more...

An elderly gentleman was telling his friend about his new hearing aid. He said, "This hearing aid is so good that I can hear a pin drop to the floor 60 feet away."
The friend said, "What kind is it?'
The old man looked at his watch and said, "It's two thirty."

Dear Jokers who provide Yo mama jokes,
Please do not post yo mama jokes previously posted in this Joke Page.
It's a waste of your time, our time and bandwith.
Please read the following collection of YO MAMA SO FAT' jokes. Future
jokers, read this and if you can find something new about the fat mama
then submit your joke. (OLD MAMA, TALL MAMA, POOR MAMA etc.
will follow)
YO MAMA IS SO FAT
Yo mama so fat. . . she's fat!
Yo mama so fat God can't lift her spirits!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo mama so fat God said "Let there be Light", and moved her fat ass.
Yo mama so fat I got rich by making her sit on coal.
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
Yo mama so fat I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back.
Yo mama so fat I saw her on top of the Empire State building snatching at airplanes.
Yo mama so fat I'm more...

Real software engineers eat quiche. Real software engineers don't read dumps. They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused. Real software engineers don't comment their code. The identifiers are so mnemonic they don't have to. Real software engineers don't write applications programs, they implement algorithms. If someone has an application that the algorithm might help with, that's nice. Don't ask them to write the user interface, though. If it doesn't have recursive function calls, real software engineers don't program in it. Real software engineers don't program in assembler. They become queasy at the very thought. Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve executing anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Real software engineers like C's structured constructs, but they are suspicious of it because they have heard that more...

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt
unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asked the clerk at the counter.
"That depends," said the salesman. "They run from $2. 00 to $2, 000."
"Let's see the $2. 00 model," he said.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck. "You just stick thisbutton in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.
"How does it work?" the customer asked.
"For $2. 00 it doesn't work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"

John: I got this great new hearing aid the other day. Mary: Are you wearing it now? John: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, though. But it's top of the line. Mary: What kind is it? John: Twelve-thirty.