Agnes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dearest John:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree.
What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.
With dearest love and affection,
Agnes
December 15th
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves.... I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love,
Agnes
December 16th
Dear John:
Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity. Three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist. .. you're just too kind.
Love,
Agnes
December 17th
Dear John:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18th
Dearest John:
What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden more...

Mother Superior at the Convent of St Agnes got all of the nuns together for a little meeting, for something had come up. She said, "Sisters, we`ve discovered a case of syphilis in the house!" Whereupon little sister Mary Catherine clasped her hands together and fell to her knees and exclaimed, "Oh, thank the Lord! We`ve all been getting so tired of Chardonnay!"

Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. "Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Mary Agnes, "What should we do?" "Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Mary Vincent. Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts. "Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water before we left the Vatican," replies Sister Mary Vincent. Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns. "Now what?" shouts Sis ter Mary Agnes. "Show him your cross," says more...

"I can tell by your accent that ye're Irish. Pray tell, what part o' Ireland ye from?""I'm from Dublin" the man replied."Are ye now? Well, it just so happens I'm from Dublin meself. Where 'bouts did ye grow up?""I grew up on the south side, near Malcolm Street." said the second man."Well kiss my Blarney Stone!" said the first, "I grew up on Malcolm Street meself. Tell me, did ye go to school around there?""Aye, I went to St. Agnes.""Faith and Begorrah! I went to St. Agnes meself. What year'd ye graduate?""I was in the class o' '67""Well ain't this a small world!" said the first man "I graduated in 1967 meself"About this time another man walks in and sits down at the opposite end of the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender take him his usual he says:"Evening, Mike, you know it's gonna be a long night when the O'Malley twins get drunk."

December 14th
Dearest John:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.
With dearest love and affection, Agnes
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December 15th
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves.... I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love, Agnes
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December 16th
Dear John:
Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity. Three french hens. They are just darling but I must insist.... you're just too kind.
Love Agnes
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December 17th
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.
Affectionately, Agnes
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December more...