Adc Jokes

In the beginning, there was the plan.
And then came the assumptions.
And the assumptions were without form.
And the plan was completely without substance.
The planners told the Chief of Plans: “It’s a crock of shit and it stinks! ”
The Chief of Plans then told the G3: “It’s a pail of dung and none may abide by the odor. ”
The G3 then told Chief of Staff: “It’s a container of excrement and it is very strong such that none may smell it. ”
The Chief of Staff then told the ADC(M): “It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide by its strength. It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong. ”
The ADC(M) told the CG: “It promotes growth and it is very powerful. It will promote the efficiency in the system and victory for the future. ”
And the CG reviewed the plan and said: “This is good. ”
And the plan became an order.
And this is how shit happens.

Lady Reading seldom lost her Viceregal poise and attended every function in spite of failing health, but she had her own sense of humour. One evening, when the Viceroy's orchestra was performing during dinner, she enquired the title of the dance tune which was being played. No one could remember. So her ADC was sent to ask the bandmaster.
The conversation at the table changed to another subject during the ADC's absence. He slipped into his seat on his return and waited for an opportunity to impart his information. At the next silence he leant forward to catch Lady Reading's eye and in a penetrating voice, said,' I will remember your kisses, your Excellency, when you have forgotten my name.'