Accuses Jokes / Recent Jokes

OBSERVATION:
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman. If you don't, you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying. If you don't, you are good for nothing.
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing. If you don't, you are not understanding.
If you make romance, you are an' experienced man'. If you don't you are half a man.
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring. If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing.
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy. If you don't, you are a dull boy.
If you are jealous, she says it's bad. If you don't, she thinks you do not love her.
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her. If you don't, she thinks you do not like her.
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait. If she is late, she says that's a girl's way.
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel. If she is visited by another,' oh it's natural, we are more...

WoMEN!
>>> If you're well dressed, she thinks you're a cassanova,
>>> If you're not, she thinks you're a boor.
>>> If you kiss her, you're not a gentleman,
>>> If you don't, you're not a man.
>>> If you praise her, she thinks you're a liar,
>>> If you don't, you're good for nothing.
>>> If you agree with all her likes, she is abusing,
>>> If you dont, you're not understanding.
>>> If you visit her often, she thinks you're boring,
>>> If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing.
>>> If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel,
>>> If she is visited by another, "Oh! It's natural, we're girls."
>>> If you're a minute late, she complains, "It's hard to wait.",
>>> If you come on time, for hours she makes you wait.
>>> If you propose love within a brief acquaintanceship, you're a fresh guy,
>>> If you postpone love later, she wonders why.
>>> If you fail to assist her in more...

PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.

SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.

ARCHAEOLOGY: One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying to dig it up.

THEATRE:"OH! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"

BIOLOGY: "You just wanted to get in my genes!"

PHYSICS: Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must come down.

JOURNALISM: "Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of 2 weeks..."

WOMEN'S STUDIES:"HE did it!"

BUSINESS: Both decide that they're spending way too much money together, and that it's simply cheaper to be single.

HISTORY: Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the other party did in the past.

GEOGRAPHY:Both people decide to simply move far away to avoid each more...

"WOMEN." So simple, yet so complex. So weak, yet
so powerful. So confusing, yet so desirable.
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman.
If you don't, you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying.
If you don't, you are good for nothing.
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing.
If you don't, you are not understanding.
If you make romance, you are an "experience man".
If you don't, you are half a man.
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring.
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing.
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy.
If you don't, you are a dull boy.
If you are jealous, she says it's bad.
If you don't, she thinks you don't love her.
If you attempt a romance, she says you don't respect
her.
If you don't, she thinks you don't like her.
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard
to wait.
If she is more...

Psychology: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.
Sociology: Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.
Religion: Each prays for reconcilliation and/or curses God
Archaeology: One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying to dig it up.
Theatre: "OH MY GOD! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"
Biology: "You just wanted to get in my genes!"
Physics: Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must come down.
Journalism: "Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of 2 weeks..."
Women's Studies: "HE did it!"
Business: Both decide that they're spending way too much money together, and that it's simply cheaper to be single.
Italian: "Mama Mia!"
History: Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the other party did in the past.
Geography: Both people decide to more...

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman. If you don't, you are not a man. If you praise her, she thinks you are lying. If you don't, you are good for nothing. If you agree to all her likes, she is abused. If you don't, you are not understanding. If you make romance, you are an' experienced man'. If you don't, you are half a man. If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring. If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing. If you are well-dressed, she says you are a playboy. If you aren't, you are a dull boy. If you are jealous, she says it's bad. If you aren't, she thinks you do not love her. If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her. If you don't, she thinks you do not like her. If you are a minute late, she complains it is hard to wait. If she is late, she says that's a girl's way. If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel. If she is visited by another,' oh it's natural, we are girls'. If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold. more...

W O M A N
If you kiss her, you are not a gentlemen
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you don't love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you don't like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
If she is visited by another,' Oh! it's natural, we are girls'
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you more...