Abstain Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.

The pastor said,' We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.'

The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked,' Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?' The old man replied,' No problem at all, Pastor.'

'Congratulations! Welcome to the church!' said the pastor.

The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked,' Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?' The man replied,' The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it.'

'Congratulations! Welcome to the church!' said the pastor.

The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked,' Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two more...

On a nice, bright sunshiney day, three couples came to visit the local Priest in order to join the Catholic Church. By a strange coincidence, One couple was young, one was old and one was middle-aged.
The Priest told the couples that they could join the church only if they proved they were sincere by first abstaining from sex for one week. The couples all agreed to meet back at the church in one week.
One week later, as promised, the couples all came back and the Priest asked of the Old Couple,
"Did you abstain from sex?"
The old couple both shook their heads and the Priest said, "Fine! Welcome to the Catholic Church!"
The Priest then asked the middle-aged couple, "Did you abstain from sex?". The Middle Aged woman smiled and said, "It was tough, but we made it."
"FINE! Welcome to the Catholic Church!"
The priest then turned to the young couple and asked, "Did you abstain from sex?"
The young more...

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor goes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor goes to the middle aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.
The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain more...

/Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor goes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor goes to the middle aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.
The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain more...

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a youngnewlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastorgoes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sexfor the two weeks?"The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor.""Congratulations! Welcome to the church." said the pastor. The pastorgoes to the middle aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstainfrom sex for the two weeks?"The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week Ihad to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."Congratulations! Welcome to the church." said the pastor. The pastor then goes to thenewlywed couple and asks,' Well, were you able to abstain from sex fortwo weeks?""Well Pastor, we were more...