"wedding speech" joke
One village man had a daughter. He was a very rich person but unfortunately not much educated. Finally he found a suitable partner for his daughter and agreed to give a big dowry for his future son-in-law. He was also from a rich family and well educated and speaking english.
On the wedding day brides father wanted to make a speech in English to show his proudness to his new relatives, so he invited to his friend to make a speech during the lunch.
His friend was a retired police sergent, he doesn't know any english but he was pretending. There was nothing to do anyway he made a speech in English. After his speech all (new relatives) began to run. This was the speech,
" Ladies and gentlemen, you are committing act of violence to private and public property. If you do not stop this I compell to order open fire, thank you"
This is what he was learned in police school.
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