"knife" joke

I'll never forget my girlfriend's dying words to me:

"For god's sake, put the fucking knife down!"

In his most recent interview, Charlie Sheen says he's been keeping so busy that he hardly has time to neglect his children.

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A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?" The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying "Ehhhh... 22!" The interviewer tries more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and POOF-the wife had tickets in her hand more...

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Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.

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