"You`re in big trouble" joke

I JUST KNEW I WAS IN BIG TROUBLE AT WORK WHEN...
... the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me.
... the Security guard made a complete inventory of my work area.
... my assistant began responding to my memos with, "Yeah, whatever."
... I got a "It`s for you loser" wav receiving e-mail, & not a chime.
... my new Pentium was replaced with an 386sx-16 last weekend.
... the Human Resources Dept requested an update of my arrest record.
... the Boss asked if I still had a copy of my 5 year contract.
... I noticed co-workers measuring my office when I arrived at work.
... my parking spot was relocated next to the dumpster.
... my secretary sez things like "Get the phone, my nails aren`t dry."
... three people began helping me write a "desk manual" for my job.
... the LAN suddenly began backing-up my computer every 10 minutes.
... a large paper recycling box was placed next to my file cabinets.
... the receptionist began saying "Who? ??" to anyone calling on me.