"You Might Be A Lutheran If... #10" joke
...your LCMS pastor refers to St. Louis as "the holy city.". ..at Thanksgiving you serve lutefisk and try to convince your kids it's really a turkey.. ..you're at an evangelistic rally and you actually manage to raise your hands waist high.. ..the only mealtime prayer you know is "Come Lord Jesus.". ..you and your family of six squeeze into the last pew along with the 140 members already sitting there.. ..you're 57 years old and your parents still won't let you date a Catholic.. ..at the close of a memo it states "Peace be with you" and you respond "and also with you.". ..you can't get into heaven without a casserole.
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5, 000.00.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys more...