"Work for an operator" joke

The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre.

Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct? Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.

* * *

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: Woven? Are you sure? Caller: Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.

* * *

Caller: I'd like the RSPCA please.

Operator: Where are you calling from?

Caller: The living room

* * *

Caller: The water board please.

Operator: Which department?

Caller: Tap water.

* * *

Operator: How are you spelling that?

Caller: With letters.

* * *

Caller: I'd like the number for a reverend in Cardiff, please.

Operator: Do you have his name?

Caller: No, but he has a dog named Ben.

* * *

Caller: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.

Operator: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?

* * *

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told the worried operator: "I haven't got a pen so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.