# "Why you should learn to use algebra" joke

Why you should learn to use algebra. . . After applying some simple algebra to some trite phrases and cliches a new understanding can bereached of the secret to wealth and success. Here it goes. Knowledge is Power Time is Money and as every engineer knows, Power is Work over Time. So, substituting algebraic equations for these time worn bits of wisdom, we get: K = P (1) T = M (2) P = W/T (3)Now, do a few simple substitutions: Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields: K = W/T (4)Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields: K = W/M (5). Now we've got something. Expanding back into English, we get: Knowledge equals Work over Money. What this MEANS is that: 1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do, and 2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make. Solving for Money, we get: M = W/K (6) Money equals Work Over Knowledge. From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, regardlessof the Work done. What THIS MEANS is: The More you Make, the Less you Know. Solving for Work, we get W = M K (7) Work equals Money times KnowledgeFrom equation (7) we see thWork jokes approaches 0 as Knowledge approaches 0. What THIS MEANS is: The stupid rich do little or no work. Working out the socioeconomic implications of this breakthrough is left as an exercise for thereader.

## Brains

An alien walked into a shop and told the owner that he came from Mars and wanted to buy a brain for research. ''How much is this one?'' he asked. ''Well that one is a monkey brain and it's \$20,'' he explained. ''How much is that one?'' he asked ''Well that one is a female brain more...

## Elijah and the Steer

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar.
And then Elijah commanded the people of God to more...

## Married To A Widower

Joan, a widow who recently married a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked, "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband occasionally talks about his first wife?"
"Oh, not any more," Joan replied.
"What more...

## Could Godzilla, the King of Monsters and Elvis, The King, be one and the same?

Could Godzilla, the King of Monsters and Elvis, The King, be one and the same?
Nickname:
Godzilla: King of Monsters
Elvis: King of Rock
Year Career Started:
Godzilla: 1954
Elvis: 1954
Species:
Godzilla: Giant lizard
Elvis: Giant lounge more...

## Tight Skirt

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?
To keep her legs closed

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