"Wedding Vows" joke

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer.
"I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows," the groom said. "When you get to me and the part where it asks if I promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
The day of the wedding arrived, and they reached the part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked him in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every wish and command, serve her breakfast in bed each and every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped, looked around, and replied in a meek voice, "Yes."After the wedding, the groom pulled the pastor aside and hissed, "I thought we had a deal!"
The pastor put the $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered, "Sorry, son, she made me a much better offer."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?'
The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

10
3

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

227
100

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

199
41

An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...

17
6

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

200
79
Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
xavier:sure
0
0
(0)
xavier:somebody pissed on ur hairline
0
0
(0)
xavier:hellllllllllllllllllllllloo
0
0
(0)
xavier:thats not what yomama said
Funny Joke? 25 vote(s). 68% are positive. 4 comment(s).