"Wedding Vows" joke

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer.
"I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows," the groom said. "When you get to me and the part where it asks if I promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
The day of the wedding arrived, and they reached the part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked him in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every wish and command, serve her breakfast in bed each and every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped, looked around, and replied in a meek voice, "Yes."After the wedding, the groom pulled the pastor aside and hissed, "I thought we had a deal!"
The pastor put the $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered, "Sorry, son, she made me a much better offer."

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
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Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

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A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit more...

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xavier:sure
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xavier:somebody pissed on ur hairline
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xavier:hellllllllllllllllllllllloo
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xavier:thats not what yomama said
Funny Joke? 25 vote(s). 68% are positive. 4 comment(s).