"Two doilies" joke
As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it.For 50 years Uncle Jack left the box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying.One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important.Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice."What's the $82,500 for?" he asked."Oh, well that's the money I've made selling the doilies."
Edna hears the car drive up, then a loud clatter as it hits the garbage cans. Car door slams, some cussing, then the garage door opens, slams. Suddenly more crashing and clattering and cussing, then Pete enters the house with his golf clubs, cussing and more...