"Translating for the Mob" joke
A father takes his deaf mute son to the Godfather.....
Father: Godfather my boy is a good boy but he can't get a job because he's a deaf mute.
Godfather: I will give him a job as a bag man. He will pick up the money from my bookies and bring it back here. he doesn't have to talk to anybody. Two weeks go by and the Father is grabbed off the street brought to the
Godfathers office. His Son is sitting in a chair all beat up.
Godfather: $50,000.00 is missing, ask your Son where it is. The Father: turns to the boy and in sign language says...."What did you do? Where is the money? they are going to kill you!
Son: (in sign language) I don't know anything about the money
Father: Godfather my Son is a good boy. He says he didn't steal any money
Godfather: Pulls a gun from his drawer and lays it on the desk and says..."ask him again" The Father: (in sign language) This guy is serious, he's going to kill you! where is the money?
Son: (in sign language) I honestly dad I don't have any money
Father: Godfather my Son says he doesn't have your money, Please believe him.
Godfather: Puts the gun to the boys head, pulls the hammer back, and says..."ask him one last time" The Father: (in sign language) He's going to kill you for sure, for you mother's sake please, WHERE IS THE MONEY?
Son: (in sign language) all right, all right its in a shoe box in the attic under moms wedding dress!
Father: Godfather my Son says GO TO HELL!
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5, 000.00.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys more...