"The old lady in the bank" joke

A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase Manhattan
Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man
at the window that she wished to take the 3 million she had in the
bag and open an account with the bank. She said that first, though,
she wished to meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to the
amount of money involved.
The teller seemed to think that was a reasonable request and after
opening the paper bag and seeing the bundles of 1,000 bills which
amounted to right around 3 million, telephoned the bank's secretary
to obtain an appointment for the lady.
The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president's
office. Introductions were made and she stated that she would like
to get to know the people she did business with on a more personal
level. The bank president then asked her where she came into such a
large amount of money. "Was it an inheritance?" he asked. "No." she
answered. "Was it from playing the stock market?" "No." she
He was quiet for a minute, trying to think of where this little old
lady could possibly come into 3 million. "I bet." she stated. "You
bet?" repeated the bank president. "As in horses?" "No." she
replied, "I bet people."
Seeing his confusion, she explained that she justs bets on different
things with different people. All of a sudden she said, "I'll bet
you $25,
000.00 that by 10:00 o'clock tomorrow morning, your balls will be
The bank president figured she must be off her rocker and decided to
take her up on the bet. He didn't see how he could lose. For the
rest of the day, the bank president was very careful. He decided to
stay home that evening and take no chances; there was $25,
000.00 at stake.
When he got up in the morning and took his shower, he checked to
make sure everything was okay. There was no difference- he looked
the same as he always had. He went to work and waited for the
little old lady to come in at 10:00 o'clock, humming as he went. He
knew this would be a good day- how often do you get handed $25,
000.00 for doing nothing. At 10:00 o'clock sharp the little old
lady was shown into his office. With her was a younger man. When he
inquired as to the man's purpose for being there, she informed him
that he was her lawyer and she always took him along when there was
this much money involved.
"Well," she asked, "what about our bet?" "I don't know how to tell
you this," he replied, "but I am the same as I've always been only
000.00 richer." The lady seemed to accept this, but requested that
she be able to see for herself. The bank president thought this was
reasonable and dropped his trousers. She instructed him to bend over
and then grabbed a hold of him. Sure enough, everything was fine.
The bank president then looked up and saw her lawyer standing across
the room banging his head against the wall.
"What' wrong with him?" he inquired. "Oh him," she replied, "I bet
him $100,
000.00 that by 10:00 o'clock this morning that I'd have the
president of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls."

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"Guilty", said the man in the dock.
At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted more...


Fireman John rushed into a burning building and rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown.
He carried her in his arms down three flights of stairs and saved her from her sure demise.
As they arrived safely, a wash of more...


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The United Nations conducted a worldwide survey with one single question:

"Would you please give your opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure:

* In Latin America, they didn't more...

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