"The blonde in the library" joke

A Blonde goes into a library. She goes up to the librarian and says, "
I want a manicure and a pedicure."
Then, the librarian says, "
Miss, this is a library!"
The blond then replies, "
Oooooohhhhh. I'm sorry!"
Then she wispers, "
I want a manicure and a pedicure."

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Your mamas so old, that when i told her to act her age she dropped dead!!!

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A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...

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Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?
A: to get to the other side.
Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?
A: to get his motorbike back!

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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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